Humor: 2012

Judging by the current national sentiments, Uncle Sam has once again emerged from the Happy Trails on which he prefers to drive. But it is possible, just the usual joshing shoulder, possibly help him wend his way back through the Tumbleweeds? Well, at least, we can give it a go.

To begin with, let us ask ourselves as free and prosperous nation wisely so painfully often wander away from the path on which you can find the conditions for happiness, including laudatio range of our allies and even encouragement to our personal happiness?

What happens if you search for clues, separating what has guided us, nationally and internationally, in two views: the steps we as a nation should take measures and we have chosen to take.

Since we do not have much choice about what drives the need, we are more inclined to repent from casting an expert eye on what we will. But just to see the various paths before us, to find my way home with unsurpassed safety, let's briefly explore the paths less promising for the remediation.

Where is the old bugaboo, the need, forcing us to go?

Nationally, more or less everything here is relatively tame - the generally accepted role of government as required under the defense policy, which, of course, includes whacking terrorists everywhere, keeping the right of citizens to wake up every morning and be free to decide What would do, if only they had to go to work, and making the timely filling of potholes.

Internationally, we must, of course, we can grow our allies, we encourage our greatest adversaries to conduct a reassuring, and do everything possible to facilitate the rewards of quasi-fair trade.

Since we have little or no choice on the above, we can only regard them as signs along the path that we must be as gopher holes or inevitable that we must be careful.

Now, we are the first signs of hope for a revelation of back-bound - the things that really have a choice about. And what do we see? None other than where we have strayed from our Happy Trails.

First, at the national level, you can actually choose to provide the usual litany of things that should have long ago as the schools we send our guys will come back safely with confidence and full of "news about the square of ' hypotenuse, "health care we can afford, without eviscerating our wallets, you can breathe the air without significantly undermining the longevity of our lungs, and you can drink the water that flows from our taps. We as individuals also choose to conduct ourselves so as to contribute to a healthy society each other, and the vociferous factions that would impose their advocacies on all of us could reacquaint himself with the delights of national diversity.

Now, finally reached the point where the path, we think, Uncle Sam has more dearly lost their way, that is, we set our eyes on things that America can choose to do at international level. Here, in fact, the point where we ran out of our paths regularly so happy you could conclude Uncle Sam, with some frequency, reached into his bag for a sip of 80-orientation test.

A suspect this position, we too often decided that the way to solve our problems at the international level is to go to war. We are not, of course, referring to the great wars, what necessity compels us to participate, such as World Wars I and II, and, just maybe, Korea. But the wars we have chosen to participate, the more miserable examples of misguidance to Vietnam and now Iraq. These guns away has never had to play and we never had to bear the loss of life and economically debilitating costs of their remorse.

But before he could stop wandering in these painful mishaps, we see an alternative path - one that definitely keeps our Happy Trails. And what could be revolutionary clean and healthy in our international behavior is?

We believe that, at this point in our short but insightful way home, the answer is before our eyes. Rather than war to achieve our goals, we have, working with our allies and all the friends that can attract, use our available naturally encouraging and persuasive economic power to bring the nations that would be truly free and democratic, while we left the ones who have a problem with these ideals obviously go above their own self-ways.Then defeat graciously we cultivate a world of emerging democracies of success, while our relatively uncertain antagonists would be confronted with examples that emphasize the error of their ways .

As a result, we would not be exhausted gladiator a reluctant empire, but happy emissaries of freedom and abundance. We live, not a world that can scapegoat for its troubles us the myriad of self-inflicted, but a world increasingly populated by copies of the ways we support, as recipients of our charity prosperous that they can, we expect, actually have some unusually complimentary things to say about us.

And speaking of fish, now that we would supply our national treasury gutted, you could also afford to provide our citizens with the right kind of support systems of the world's richest nation, would have long been able to provide abundance.

We wandered now, even if briefly, enough in our search for the way back to the trail junction just happy to know that there has often astray: Conduct for which we have a choice.

What we need is not the coercion of those who disagree with us, but the encouragement of those who want to emulate us. What we need is America, not so much as a power feared, but more nutritious as an example of what we consider the principles healthier.

We could, with these choices, in fact, achieve our goals at international level - and in ways that help us achieve our goals at the national level.

Yes, often rebellious uncle, with such information, we can once again we are happy trails - and you know, for the first time, how to keep themselves and our legendary white charger at right angles on them.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Karachi spotted Bin Laden, can transform itself into

Reports residence of Osama Bin Laden has taken a new turn this week when a Pakistani woman reported sighting a tall man in a white robe with matching turban hit his head on a low door.

Women's suspicions about the identity of a man were further aroused when he noticed the entrance led to a recording studio.

To avoid creating suspicion, he came without revealing who he thought might be.

"Are you okay?" She asked with the innocence hesitation.

"No," he said. "How am I to disagree? More than just cracking my head low in this portal, I'm Osama Bin Laden."

"Really?" She said, thinking of the $ 25 million reward for turning him in, as well as his opportunity to contribute to the triumph of justice.

"Yes," he continued. "I have not been good since I fled Tora Bora, it is also difficult for me to get out long enough to make my audio tapes."

"My, oh, my," she commiserated, "Everyone thinks you are in remote regions near the Afghan border."

"It seems that they know better," he confided. "How does a spoiled rich kid like me live this long without some of the features only a city can offer, such as a dialysis machine to keep me alive, and take-away food."

"This makes sense," he agreed.

"Yes, he does, but there is no danger that the authorities will understand where I am, because every time you record a tape, we filter out the noise of the city, such as horns and sirens."

"It 's very smart," he said. "You would think when they see the tapes are filtered out you can imagine you're in a place where there are sounds in the background."

"We hope not to catch on. I do not want them to take away from my next surprise move."

"Oh, a surprise move," he exclaimed. "Would you tell me about it?"

"No," he said, "because then there will be a surprise anymore. But just watch. I have no intention of going around forever in Karachi. I long for the most developed metropolitan delights in the capitals of the world. Now if you'll excuse me, my recording session is due to start. "

Then he waved goodbye and went out the door, this time remembering to duck.

The woman, excited about shortness of breath, went straight to the nearest police station and reported his surprising interaction.

Police immediately launched a search in Karachi for Bin Laden, vowing to pursue it as part of their trawl, apparently a bit 'porous terrorist.

However, they were shocked when the next day, Bin Laden called police headquarters and offered to turn himself in

When asked why he made the decision when the police, many of whom are devout Muslims, were doing everything possible to help him evade capture, he replied: "I can not stand it anymore. Hiding every day, afraid to go out of fear of entering into a conversation with a stranger that I could report, and having to spend all my time with my four wives, when I could sit in a topless club in America, like the martyrs that I sent to fly American planes into buildings were doing just before their great sacrifice. Worse still, one of my wives told me that could be misinterpreted, the Koran, because, he said, 'Islam' means peace. Praise be to God I did not , or I'll turn myself inside "

"Well, if you insist," the police said.

"I'll know for sure in a day or two," Osama replied, "I do not want to do it and then regret it later, especially now I have to be hanged."

p> Reports residence of Osama Bin Laden has taken a new turn this week when a Pakistani woman reported sighting a tall man in a white robe with matching turban hit his head on a low door.