Bath Palacial

I had to play a joke waitress in a hotel where I lived. You know that little paper wrapper they place on the toilet seat, the band of thin paper that is supposed to convince you that the system is clean. They normally take the strip of paper off and throw it away, you go to use the John. Instead, I saved mine and every morning before leaving the room, slipped on the toilet seat, giving the impression I never used.

After five days of this I could only imagine the reaction of the waitress.

Staring, said, "What are you, a kind of lizard?"

For me, the bathrooms are like Greek temples, stone and cool marble, reassuring, serene, little worlds of their own, a place of refuge, closed off from the world and its problems.

These places thus earn more dignified name of "rest room".

For example, if you hate your job without end, and sharing a common bathroom down the hall with employees of other companies in construction, it is likely that you'll spend more time here than you should, far from threatening, dishonest boss , call phones and mountains of paperwork.

I admit I'm selfish. When I use the john hall, I want everything to me --- only.

I also do not want my imitation stained greek temple. Therefore, I never play important bodily functions here (the only time I did I was sick).

There's this boy. Every morning at 8:45 he is seated on the throne. Now I know this is not a common subject for a column, and I do not want you to think I'm weird. But I'm really curious about this guy, perplexed, baffled, whatever.

Since only 8:45 in the morning, can not have been working very long, not much more than an hour. Why can not keep it longer? Why can not do its job before it gets nasty at home to work?

What does the food as a process of goose?

Now, we all drink coffee, I admit that passes through you pretty fast. So I'm not against the use of little John for calls of nature. But I'm thinking about posting a sign that reads: "This facility used for body functions Minimal Only."

Not my fault greek temple with your gut digest.

More palacial bathroom.

Bathrooms like restaurants should be assessed in travel books by how good they are. For example, we have all seen gas station bathrooms in truck stops on Labor Day where the unflushed facility has not been cleaned, and globs of stuff in there are so putrid that you think can reach out and grab you.

These sites give us lower on the ladder of evolution.

Disgusting!

Then there are the bathrooms, like the one I saw at Pebble Beach Resort. The heart soars. You can eat off the ground. Little, damp towels hanging silver trays for cleaning hands. Embossed toilet paper. Sparkling silver and brass fixtures.

A dream come true.

I was in tears.

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