Eternal Wit

Who said, "You can not take it with you" was obviously not referring to a sense of humor ...

Here is a current list of epitaphs from departed souls who apparently had more to say than time to say, or their next of kin, who wanted to be sure that literally had the last word:

On the tomb of Ezekiel Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies
Ezekiel Aikle
Age 102
The Good Die Young.

In one, the cemetery London England:

Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
December 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon
Not to increase.

Memory of an accident in one, Uniontown Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays Butch,
We first planted.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.

A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:

Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has many titles of property
wife, and yearns to be comforted.

A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange
"Here lies an honest lawyer,
And this is strange.

Someone decided to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:

I was somebody.
Who is not a business
Your.

Lester Moore was a Wells Fargo station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of 1880. He is buried in Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.

In a Georgia cemetery:

"I told you I was sick!"

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England cemetery:

Reader, if you cash
In the absence of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And you find a Penny.

On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond, Virginia:

He always said
her feet were killing
but nobody believed her.

In a cemetery Hartscombe, England:

On June 22
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:

Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It was not the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of things he did leave.

Here is more fun with names, this time with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:

Gone
OWIN 'more
Than he could pay.

Someone in Winslow, Maine did not like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood
This life
November 2, 1837
Aged 45 years.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
A wood
Within another.
Wood exterior
It is very good:
We can not praise
Others.

On a grave from 1880 in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God

The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:

Who was fatally burned
21 March 1870
explosion of a lamp
filled with "RE Danforth's
Non-explosive liquid that burns "

Here Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:

Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked at the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
E 'state.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an atheist
All clothes
And nowhere to go.

But he did make calls home? Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas:

Office hours upstairs

Hopefully.