During his celebrated career, Rush Limbaugh invented the term "adult beverages" to refer to alcoholic beverages so as not to offend mothers with young children listening to the show. But no insight was given on where to find the best drinks for adults dittohead. That's why I created the Dittohead's Guide to adult beverages, a book of political humor of the show fans will love.
Just try these great recipes:
Environmentalist wacko WHISKEY
Glass: Your cup Own Hands
Ingredients:
1 Part Triple Sec (until it was made in a factory in bad company)
2 shares Whiskey (homemade by Sierra Club members in a distillery earth-friendly)
1 Part Grain Alcohol (flammable liquid used by the Earth Liberation Front burning SUVs)
A Frozen Pond (the result of any number of manmade environmental disasters)
1 Dolphin (the crown of creation, according to environmentalist wackos)
Instructions: First, cut some ice cubes from the surface of a frozen pond (these should be plentiful due to the effect smog blocking the sun in preparation for the coming ice age). Do not use a freezer to produce ice, freezer because I am a first cousin capitalist-invented the worst enemy of mankind - the air conditioner. Then, combine the ingredients (along with your cubic tin) in your cupped hands. Do not you dare use a glass instead of your hands, because the process of glass production destroys Mother Earth.
Origin: This adult beverage is named in honor of environmentalist wackos, a fringe movement (as distinct from people responsible for ecology-minded and serious) who believes that humanity is the greatest threat to nature, to destroy private property, and want to establish a socialist regime to impose their nuttiness on the rest of us.
Special Note: environmentalist wackos for years have told us that dolphins are superior to humans - despite the absence of dolphin highways, libraries or institutions of higher education. But for all their supposed brilliance, I defy any wacko environmentalist to find a dolphin that can make a good adult beverage like this!
EL RUSHBO
Glass: a highball glass decorated with the logo of the EIB Network
Ingredients:
Part 1 Rum (share the first two letters of his name with Rush!)
2 shares Blue Gatorade (consumed while playing a round of golf in honor of Rush)
Sprite 2 shares (in recognition of capitalist society lemon-lime soda)
1 Chair Prestigious Attila (symbolic domain of radio industry)
The talent on loan from God (because the Liberals have no chance against El Rushbo)
Instructions: Using the talent on loan from God (assuming that, unlike most liberals, is to recognize the existence of God), combine ingredients in a highball glass decorated with the logo of the EIB and top with whipped cream (but Please use the whipped cream in this drink recipe for adults, the way Rush and not use it in the way Bill Clinton used). Enjoy the confines of his comfortable chair Attila the Hun, the undisputed headquarters of the energy sector talk-radio.
Origin: This adult beverage dittohead is affectionately named in honor of Rush Limbaugh - lover of mankind, the patron of motherhood, fatherhood advocate (in most cases), general all around good guy, and a man appointed by the Ministry of 'Education in the United States as a' weapon of mass education of good faith. "
Special Note: This drink is documented for adults almost always taste great, 96.712 percent of the time, just like El Rushbo is documented to be almost always right, 97.963 percent of the time!
No comments:
Post a Comment