Lawyer Jokes
Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?
A: It has an extreme desire of nonsense.
Q: What is the legal definition of "appeal"?
A: Something a person slips on a grocery store.
Q: Why did God snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a meeting of lawyers?
A: The caterer.
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: While it has one, the other side should get one.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A bid can not understand.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator
Q: Have you heard who has just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?
A: It comes with half the things Ken and maintenance.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a pit bull?
A: Jewelry.
Q: What is the definition of mixed emotions?
A: Look at the unit lawyer from a cliff in the new Ferrari.
Q: What is the difference between lawyers and accountants?
A: At least accountants know they are boring.
Stories:
1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Do not worry. You shall not go to jail with all that money? In fact, when the man was sent to prison, he had not a penny.
2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, asked: "Why are all the blinds closed?" The nurse said: "There's a fire down the road, and did not want you to think I was dead."
3. God decided to take the devil to court and resolve their differences once for all. Satan heard this, he laughed and said: "Where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"
4. A lawyer is sitting at his desk in his new office. He hears someone coming to the door. To impress his first potential customer picks up the phone as the door opens and says: "I demand one million and not a penny less." As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office said: "I am here to connect the phone."
And finally:
It could be a lawyer if .... You are charging someone to read these jokes.
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