Tax Jokes and Quotes

Do you realize that some tax forms are asked to check a box if you are blind?

Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone with the IRS. Now it is difficult to pass. This is progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Do not worry, just go Dig Out Your tax returns in the past.

Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if They had a file on him. The IRS said: "There is now."

Quote: "It would be nice if everyone could pay their taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required."

Q: Who audits IRS agents?

Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, is not as satisfying as an income tax refund."

Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?
A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.

Quote: "The deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the courage to collect."

Why is that when the IRS loses a tax return is considered an error, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?

Quote: "The wages of sin is death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just a sort of feeling tired."

Q: How can humble a person that flaunts their wealth?
A: have them fill out a tax return.

Quote: "Even when you make a shape on the level, you do not know when it's through if you're a crook or a martyr."

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado?
A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your home.

Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the
Government as an employee? "

People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a past event, but taxes never die.